When talking about the Butterfly Approach to people, I often describe the importance of sofas for people to sit close together in a companionable way as you would at home. But I’ve only more recently realised how important tables are – where they are placed, how they are used and what is put on them. In this blog, I will share four tables I will always remember in different countries where we have developed the Butterfly Approach.
In a recent visit to Landermeads, one of the pioneering Butterfly Homes in the UK, I went into Stoppard House, which is one of the smaller families of people living with dementia in the home. Stoppard House has what has become almost an iconic large family table at the heart of the home area. It never disappoints me! On this occasion, it was December and so the Christmas theme was the focus. About five people living and working in the house were sitting round the table together and there was a busy, but relaxed feel. The table was just brimming with exciting items to explore – large juicy oranges, cinnamon sticks, fir cones, festive jute ribbons, candles, a bottle of red wine in a wine rack, a tea pot, a pint of milk and an old fashioned biscuit tin with Royal Family theme. There was a woman slicing the oranges on a large chopping board. She had quite a large knife and I imagined how many health and safety focused team members I know might have reacted with anxiety to the sight! However, her husband and a care worker were sitting right beside her, and she was slicing the fruit with great precision and pride. She then took the prepared orange slices and put them in the over, assisted by the team member. The smells in the room were amazing with the combination of citrus and cinnamon and cloves. They then used the dried slices to create home-made decorations with small bells, cinnamon and the fir cones. A man sitting at the table was being helped to write Christmas cards to relatives and friends and a woman was sitting quietly cuddling her doll. People were doing their own thing, and yet the unity of the table somehow brought everyone together.
In another care home, Whitemud in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, I remember a lunch table where burgers and hotdogs were on the menu. It was quite simply set up with a smart maroon tablecloth and contrasting white mats. But what was striking was the array of options to add to your burger placed in inviting bowls on the table. There were sliced large tomatoes, gherkins, mustard, ketchup, onions and lettuce. When the fresh bread buns were bought to the table with the burgers, everyone was invited to ‘make their own’. What was important to me about this table, is everything was set up to encourage choice and independence. No assumptions were made about whether someone liked raw onions or tomato ketchup, bowls were passed around and conversation flowed.
In Shankill near Dublin in Ireland, the St Joseph’s care home team are fantastic at creating a mood through the things they put out on tables. They decided to have a party afternoon and in the household for people living with advanced dementia, they wanted to stage the room with lots of items linked to parties – buntings, balloons etc. But what caught my eye was a table on which they had placed varieties of bottles – wine, Guiness, small ale bottles, Jameson’s whisky etc. – and there were glasses half-filled with red and white wine also on the table. There was also a pair of dark sunglasses, a party hat, a Venetian mask and a vase of flowers. It was stylishly presented and immediately cued everyone into the fact that an event was happening. It somehow told a story. In my mind, the half empty glasses took me back to many parties I have been to in my life where you can’t find your glass! I imagined that this might have been the same for those in the room sitting looking at the central table.
In another care home in Canberra in Australia, I remember a group of people, again in the later experiences of dementia who were sitting round a table in a small living room in the home. The table was well located overlooking a garden. The team had created lots of sensory items which were very visual and tactile. There were soft toys, an abacus, a large dice, a world globe, soft fabrics, poetry books and lots of other items to explore. In small dishes, the chef had created some exciting ‘taste plates’ – some yellow fizzy sherbet powder, fresh fruit, pieces of cheese, marshmallows etc. They were colourful as well as very tasty! A bird table just outside the window brought many pretty bird visitors and the gardener had placed some very large colourful plant pots within easy view from the window. Most of the people living in this home area were often sleeping and rarely used words, but it was interesting to see their eyes and facial expressions light up when they woke up as the table offered such a feast for the senses. For team members sitting with them, there were so many possibilities to pick up and show people. So often those in the later experiences of their dementia sit in a very isolated way in their large reclining chairs, but there was no sense of this exclusion in this little lounge.
Many people describe the importance of sitting round a family table particularly in our childhood or with our own children. There is something powerful about the way in which this simple piece of furniture in a room anchors, holds and connects us. The table helps us to pause and appreciate each other, to share food and conversation – and to know we are not alone. Every table has many stories to tell.
Have you considered the magic possibilities of your tables?
Consultant Trainer
MCM UK